There’s a funny thing about finishing or accomplishing something that you have worked on for a while. I think it is a small sliver of grief. I felt it hugely when I stopped playing soccer, and I feel smaller versions of it each time I set out to do something, do the thing, turn around and wonder, now what?

This Croatia trip has been in the works since the end of last year, so for the last eight months it has been hovering in the back of my mind, influencing many of my decisions. It has motivated me to show up on days I don’t want to work, to save money, given me things to research on Pinterest, given me items to shop for (hello, new swimsuits!), and of course, guided my plans for physical preparation. I have swum more in the last few months that I ever have before. I have been to physical therapy, strength training, two different pools and one big, beautiful pacific ocean. And it was all the more fun knowing that Croatia was the carrot at the end of the stick. All of that work, time invested, physical and emotional effort was because I wanted to see what I could do. And I’ll be honest - I blew myself away!!

I know that I have worked in this field for a long stinkin’ time, but I am still always so wonderfully amazed at how well training works. I think about my first couple of swims last spring in the YMCA pool and how difficult they felt. The improvement in each swim was so incremental it was impossible to feel in real time, but when I compare how it felt swimming each day in Croatia to those first days, the difference is huge! Not to mention the fact that this is the most endurance I have ever had and more than I thought my body might be capable of. How cool is that!!

To take a moment to celebrate: I am so proud of myself and my body. I’m proud that I was able to do it, proud that I was willing and able to do the supporting work to prioritize moving without pain (been working through some ongoing neck pain for a while now), and proud that it was a healthy and very positive experience. I practiced really listening to my body over my ego and honored what it needed, when it needed it. It feels like my body and I had a good dialogue and compromise going - I pushed hard a couple of days to swim across a channel and into a cave, as well as around a whole island! And then spent time tanning on the boat the next day when I needed the extra rest. (Honestly, as I write this I see how much of a win-win that was.) I felt ready to rumble after a rest day, so the last few swims felt really fun again. Good job, me!

I’m also so proud of our whole group. There were 21 of us spanning a wide range of swimming abilities, ages, backgrounds, and personal challenges. Every single person showed up with enthusiasm, a good attitude and whatever tools they needed to feel successful. Each swim was presented with options for length and everyone chose what was best for them. The trip leader said we were one of the strongest groups they have had! Also, side story, ever since my brother worked as a river rafting guide I love hearing trip-guide stories. Borut, our leader, said they once had a group show up who had NEVER SWUM at all!! They ended up just giving them floaties and apparently they had a great time. HA! Back to the real story…during our film session, when Borut analyzed mini clips of each of us swimming to offer feedback for stroke technique improvement, he was blown away by how well we all swim, especially for how little we train relative to most endurance swimmers. (We are mostly summer swimmers, not year-round). I give all the credit to our coach and friend, Dawn, as she has coached us the last few summers and patiently helped each of us improve from wherever we are, whether it is fine-tuning our breathing, increasing speed, or starting from the beginning and getting comfortable in the ocean. She is an amazing coach and it shone through our whole group!

It’s so tempting to want to ride this high right into the next thing. But I relate it to ending a relationship - it deserves time to be celebrated, grieved, processed, and integrated. It was a big experience and it takes time to come back down, level out again and reconnect with more of a “baseline” level of activity. I also believe that traveling as a whole also deserves time to be integrated. It is so nice to have a break from allllll the routines of being home and also so nice to come home again!

Croatia is beautiful. I tend to love being in all water, but the Adriatic Sea is truly something special. It is SO clear and extra salty, which means yours truly could float for a change! The cities are drenched in history and walking through the palace walls feels like traveling to another time. Everyone we met (except a couple ladies at the grocery store) was kind, welcoming and interesting to talk to. In case you’re wondering, island life is everything it’s cracked up to be and I can’t recommend it enough.