One of my clients and I have been enjoying some really great conversations about communication lately. We have talked mostly about how to communicate with others during and after making lifestyle adjustments, as well as investigating how we speak to ourselves. In the spirit of these discussions, I had this client write a love letter to her body. The letter she wrote completely blew me away and I am so excited that she gave me permission to share it.

To my body:

You are strong. You are resilient. You are capable. You have gotten me through the past three incredibly difficult years, and all the years before, and allowed me to walk, bike, run, swim, hike, etc. to refuel. Yet, for the past three years, I consciously didn’t think of your appearance. I forced myself to only think about what you could do and not how you looked. I felt like you would not ever change and it was time to accept and move on. Now, you have the most resources you have ever had. You are the healthiest you have been in your mind and body. And you have started this journey by simply listening.

You, my body, are a different shape than you were a few months past. It was easier when I was just listening and tracking you, when I didn’t get outside input. As soon as people started commenting, I realized how much joy their compliments brought. And that made me curious. Why, after so much time working on appreciating you for what you can do, did a person’s compliment bring such an immediate reaction in you. And now we begin this journey of healing. Of accepting all of the external body image notions we have silently internalized. Mom was raised in a different time. Her empowerment and opportunities came from swimming. For a long, long time, women were seen as objects. The smaller they were in size and volume, the more subservient and needs anticipating they were, the more they were thought of as the ideal woman. Mom was raised in the remnants of that era. In her mind, dieting, exercising, and being food conscious was healthy and a woman’s responsibility. It was a woman’s responsibility to keep your body in check.

You, my body, are something to be listened to, not controlled. And yet, that requires my mind to do some unlearning and relearning from all the past constructs that have set up shop in my brain. It will take time. Be patient. Be curious. You will continue to change and evolve. You are my one and only body.

There are so many things about this letter that struck a chord with me. She touched on quite a few huge topics, and did so with grace, purpose, and understanding. There are so many things that influence our relationships with our bodies and it takes great courage to acknowledge and face some of those things.

Health coaching not only teaches you about food and how to eat, but provides a safe space to examine your relationship with food, with your body and with your whole self. Witnessing the courage, the changes, and the learning that occurs in these relationships is truly a privilege and an honor.

Our bodies are something to be listened to, not controlled. I couldn’t agree more. And it’s true, that process will get more complex before it gets simple. And it is so, SO worth it.

Thank you, brave client, for sharing!

Originally posted May 17, 2022.