Your Worth is More Than Your Accomplishments

“Your value as a person is not dependent on your ability to do organic chemistry.”

My mom said those words to me approximately once a week, every week during my sophomore year of college. I had to take organic chemistry, biology and physics all at the same time, and it was extremely challenging, to say the least. I typically did very well as a student up until that point, and there was a direct correlation of getting good grades and learning well when I put in the work. No matter how hard I worked at organic chemistry, I couldn’t grasp it. And it started to make me doubt myself as a person. Luckily, my mom (and dad) were there to remind me that I was more than my chemistry grade.

I have been reflecting on this a lot lately and finding myself saying those words in my head, just replacing organic chemistry with the topic or situation of the moment. There is an abundant amount of societal pressure to do what everyone else is doing. To choose something outside of a traditional or typical path somehow invites a lot judgement, or perceived judgement. With that judgement often comes doubt. And close on the heels of doubt is the crumbling of the sense of self.

So, may I remind you, whether you need it today or not:

Your value as a person is not dependent on your ability to keep your house clean 24/7.

Your value as a person is not dependent on your ability to eat a “clean diet” consistently.

Your value as a person is not dependent on your ability to go to the gym 5 days a week, every week.

Your value as a person is not dependent on your ability to always be the friend who “has it all together”

Your value as a person is not dependent on the work that you do.

Your value as a person is not dependent on you being married. Or even dating someone.

Your value as a person is not dependent on your ability to keep house plants alive.

Your value as a person is not dependent on your ability or your choice to have children. Or frogs.

Your value as a person has nothing to do with whether you eat meat or not.

Your value as a person is not dependent on the activities you choose to do.

Your value as a person is not dependent on how much money you make or have.

Your value as a person is not dependent on owning a house.

Your value as a person is not dependent on your ability. Period.

It takes courage to choose a less traditional path. I think, and hope, that in our lifetime we will see such a variety of life paths that we won’t be able to identify a single traditional or typical option. That the new tradition will be for us supporting each other in doing what is best for us as individuals, while maintaining strong social connections. That we will celebrate each other before we judge, that we will ask questions before we assume and be genuinely curious about someone else’s choices and get to know them as a person. A person who’s value has nothing to do with what they do, but is inherent in who they are.

I love what we have started with Wayfinder because I don’t feel like I have to fit in to fit in. I get to be my whole, weird self and have all the space I need and want to express that self, including the ways in which I hope to improve and evolve. My sincerest hope is that we are a welcoming place where you feel like you are enough and valuable as you are. and THEN we get to help you build and grow from there, which can be such a beautiful, messy process, but one that is so much more fulfilling than starting from a place of lacking.

Your value as a person has nothing to do with the way your butt looks.

You are wonderful the way you are. And if you want guidance and support in the ways that you would like to improve and evolve, we are here to help you.

And if there’s only one that sticks, I hope you always remember that your value as a person is not dependent on your ability to do organic chemistry. THANK GOODNESS!

Thanks, Mom.

Rooting for us, big time!